Archive for the ‘Coaching’ Category

Coping With Rape: A Husband’s Journey

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007

When husbands deal with rape the pain is manifested in a different way then the victim herself. Husbands deal with a staggering amount of fear, shame, denial, anger, aggression, and oftentimes rage. If you are a husband of a rape victim there are some very basic steps that will not only help you, but also your partner. The feelings described above are normal feelings for a person in your position.

It is important to remember that the recovery time is at the victims’ discretion. And expressing yourself with a comment such as, “why can’t you just get over it,” only tells your wife that you think she is weak. Such comments will inadvertently contribute to depression, lack of self-respect, or a lowered self-confidence.

It is also very important to not spout out “I’ll kill him” although this is a common feeling with men whose wife have been disrespected in such a horrific manner. But trying to punish violence with violence can only worsen her feelings of security.

The recovery process is the longest, nerve racking, and most frightful time a victim will go through. The victim needs to feel protected and secure, but in a respectful and peaceful manner.

The aftermath of the rape will be a very trying time for you both. You will also need to seek out support and counseling to be able to deal with your emotions and concerns for this violation. You have also been violated, so your emotions are normal. Talking through those emotions with a counselor will help tremendously. Or you can call a rape crisis center in your area and ask about classes for spouses of the victim dealing with rape. Husbands can also benefit from the hotlines and rape crisis lines.

Never talk about your feelings about the rape to your spouse; it is best to talk to a friend or relative about aggressive feelings toward the rapist. Unless your spouse has asked you how you are feeling, don’t offer it. When you are speaking to your wife regarding the assault, keep the aggressiveness subdued and allow your words and your answers to be addressed as gently as possible. Your job, for the time being, is to be a wonderful listener.

Remember when your wife has been raped she may not want to have sexual contact for some time. It is imperative for you to wait until she is ready. When the time comes for your wife to feel comfortable with sexual relationship again, keep it as gentle and loving as you possibly can.

During lovemaking, remind her why you love her so much. Embrace her loving as you make love to her. It is also important to talk to her. Any sexual contact after a rape will cause her to flashback. Keep talking to her or whispering softly in her ear. This way she will hear your voice and know it is her husband she is having intercourse with.

These flashbacks may occur during the first few times you are on an intimate level. She may cry out in the middle of intercourse. If she does, remember this is not a reflection of what you are doing. If she becomes hysterical, gently cease the lovemaking and let her know that whenever she is ready you will be there for her. Be sure to let her know it doesn’t matter how much time that will take. Remind her that you will always be there for her and will be there ready for her when the time comes.

While caressing your wife at night, be sure she is made aware of where your arms and hands will be located, such as “Can I put my left arm around you and hold you?” It will be very tough to remember and be understanding to her full emotional problems, but one quick move from you on a certain part of her body may setoff a flashback.

It is also important that men never make the assumption that they could have stopped it or should have stopped it to the victim. There isn’t a way we could be around our spouse 24 hours a day, seven days a week, it’s just not possible.

When speaking with your spouse you can use life experiences you once had. Think back in your life to a crisis or a time when you felt vulnerable or violated and remember what helped you the most. Share the experience with your partner and share the ways that you got through the offense.

For the time being and throughout the recovery process you should assist with routine tasks that are not normally performed by you. The extra assistance with her daily routines will be a helpful and an appreciated gesture.

It is also important for spouses to get educated on the issue of rape. It is an agonizing assault and the more you know about rape the better you will be able to assist your partner through the healing process.

If you want to feel like you are apart of the solution, get involved in charities that are catered to victims of rape. This will also empower you on your journey of recovery. And it is a positive way to show your spouse the depth of your love.

Sometimes a short getaway out of town will give you a much needed break from the depression, and will help the both of you to reconnect to a sense of security

Rachel McNair is a survivor of rape and is an advocate for Rape Awareness nationwide. Her articles are aimed towards educating men, women, and young women about the crisis of rape. Please visit her website http://www.rapefacts.info for more information and articles written by Rachel. Rachel also offers no-obligation confidential email counseling. Email her for more information: rapefacts@comcast.net

From Hole to Whole

Monday, August 13th, 2007

On March 20, 1992 I was convicted of five armed bank robberies, over a six-month crime spree when I was 28 years old. I was sentenced to 157 months, thirteen years and one month behind the razor wire of a Federal Correctional Institution in Florence, Colorado. The same complex that would later hold Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols. Looking back at that time in my life, I can directly link my crimes and incarceration to the decision I made as a teenager, and in particular my decision to experiment with drugs. To sum it all up- drugs eventually became more important than anything or anyone else in my life, and bank robbery became a means in which I could feed my habit for another 30-60 days or the police were going to show up and I was going to make them doing something I did not have the guts to do myself- “suicide by police” is what they call that today.

During my five month trial period is where I first experienced an “awakening”, and this transformation was fueled by three things. The first being the “dead time” in prison, which literally hangs in the air. I would sit in the common areas and would watch guys play cards, play dominoes, and watch TV for 12, 14, sometimes 16 hours a day. Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. Some of these guys doing this for 5, 10, 15 years at a time. I could not fathom spending all of those years in that fashion. The second thing that fueled this awakening was my seven-year-old son Eric. I found that not only was possible, but that I had the responsibility to influence my far off son in a positive way. And the third thing that fueled my awakening was something my Dad used to say when I was a kid, something that I lost track of during my teens and early twenties, but something that I came to believe in and rely on during those years of incarceration. What my Dad used to say is this- “anything in this life that is worthwhile, really worthwhile, is never easy.” And you see I had always taken the easy road. The easy road is the drug use, the lying, the stealing, and the cheating. Anyone can take that road- it does not take a special individual to travel that path.

So I have this awakening. For me it is going to be education. Education is what I am going to use as a tool to make a very negative situation as positive as I possibly could. But first I have a decision to make as well as some obstacles that only prison can put before you. The time comes during my trial when I have to decide if I want to take the plea agreement that the prosecution has offered. My options are pleading to the 157 months or waiting for the outcome of a Supreme Court decision that would directly affect my sentence computation. My attorney tells me to wait for the Supreme Court outcome, that she has sources that say they are leaning towards a favorable outcome that would cut my time dramatically. She gives me three days to think about it. Each of those three nights I am awakened by a strong feeling that tells me to take the plea agreement in front of me at that moment. I at that time had no idea where it was coming from, but I knew it was very strong and very clear. I informed my attorney of my decision, and against her recommendation was sentenced to the 157 months. Four weeks later I discovered that the Supreme Court ruling would have resulted in my being sentenced to 53 years, one month. The judge in my case would not have had a choice, he would have been mandated my mandatory sentencing guidelines.

Upon finally arriving at FCI Florence, I faced my next obstacle. Within the Federal Bureau of Prisons, gangs run the prisons. The Aryan Brotherhood, The Mexican Mafia, The Bloods, The Crips, they dictate what happens behind the razor wire of a federal prison. Being designated to this facility meant that I was thirty miles from my hometown of Colorado Springs. This was not the norm. Most of the guys I was locked up with were from all over the country- New York, Chicago, L.A. Because I was so close to home I received visits every weekend, either a family member or a friend would come. Once again this was not the norm. Most of the guys were lucky if they received one visit a year, very lucky. When these gang members discovered the frequency of my visits they approached me and told me I was going to smuggle drugs into the institutions through the visiting room, using my family and friends as mules, and they told me that I was going to do this or that they were going to kill me. I had several small altercations with them, and then finally the day came when I had to make a decision. Three of them came into my cell carrying with them what they kill each other with in prison. The first is carrying an everyday toothbrush, but this brush has one end filed down to a sharp point and the other end wrapped in duct tape to use as a handle. The second is carrying a pork chop bone, yes; you read right a pork chop bone. They take the long end of the bone and file down on concrete and the large section of the bone fits nicely in the palm of your hand as a handle. The third is carrying a 16-penny nail driven through a piece of broom handle. They come in carrying these things and tell me that it is time to make a decision, was I going to do it or not. Was I scared? I was terrified, and the first thought that came to my mind was that I would do whatever they wanted, just please put those things away. But then something stronger than my fear overcame me. I thought about my son, and how he was committed to me no matter where I was. And I thought about my family and how I had always sacrificed them and put my needs first. While today I may know where the strength came from, at the time I had no idea- but from somewhere inside of me came the words “I am not going to do it, you are going to have to do what you came to do.” What happened next? I now know that things happen for a reason- the jingle of keys can be heard coming down the corridor, a guard is on the way. When they hear this they take their shanks and throw them under my mattress. You are only allowed to have two inmates in a cell at one time so when he gets to my cell he stops and puts his head in and asks, “Evans, what are these guys doing in here?” Nothing I say, we are just visiting. He orders them out, and five minutes later I took their shanks back to them and handed them over saying “I think you guys forgot something”. They never bothered me again. Whether it was because I did not tell the guard what they were doing in my cell that day, or whether it was because they could see in my eye that they were going to have to finish the job they came to do, that I was not longer going to take that easy road, whatever the reason I was never bothered again.

July 16, 1997, fast-forward 4.5 years. I have been locked up four and one-half years up to this date and there is really nothing special about this day, just going about my everyday prison routine when again a guard sticks his head in my cell and tells me that my counselor wants to see me immediately. I shuffle down to my counselor’s office and am told to shut the door and sit down. He informs me that he just received a phone call concerning me from a guy in Auburn, Alabama, a scholarship committee chairman with a national association, and that they are interested in helping me with my schooling. And then it all came back to me, you see the prior six months to the day I was called into my counselors office I spent every free minute I had- 14, 16, sometimes 18 hours a day sitting at my tiny little prison desk in my tiny little prison cell, filling out applications, writing essays, begging, pleading, and selling myself to absolutely every private scholarship available that I even remotely qualified for. But I was a con, a felon; no one wanted to take a chance on me. Each day at mail call I received a stack of rejection letters- thanks but no thanks. I was two years into my first degree and it was beginning to look like my dream, my dream of turning a very negative situation into as positive a situation as I possibly could was just not going to happen. One week after been called to my counselors office I received a letter and a check from that association for one class. It stated in the letter that although I did not meet the selection criteria in any way, shape or form, they were so impressed with what I was attempting to do that they were going to award me a special stipend. I took that one class and sent them my report card. They then sent me a check for two classes and once again I sent them my report card. It snowballed to the point that they were funding entire semesters, and the end result of their help was me walking out those gates of prison with two college degrees, both earned with a 4.0 GPA and placement on the Deans and Presidents List.

Things were moving along wonderfully. I was making my family very proud, and my son showed a renewed interest in his own education- it became something he and I could share, a competition between us. I was not out there throwing a baseball with my boy, but I was doing something with him. Things were going very good when a new warden came to FCI Florence.

He immediately took a dislike to me. He did not like the fact that I was given extra computer time, extra library time, and he in particular did not like the fact that I was being allowed to receive videotapes through the mail which allowed me to complete my courses via correspondence. He informed me that all of these things were coming to an end immediately. I turned to the National Speakers Association, and its members who happened to be very well politically connected. Over the next six weeks, 28 Congressman and Senators wrote and called this warden demanding to know why I was not being allowed to complete my second degree. He did not like this. He was not used to answering to anyone but these were people he had to answer to, and he really did not like the fact that one of his inmates stirred up this whole hornets nest. So he put me under investigation, called me a risk to the security of the institution and threw me in “the hole”.

“The hole” is a 6×9 foot cell, and in this small are is a steel bunk bed, a stainless steel toilet connect to a stainless steel sink and a stainless steel shower. You shared these accommodations with one other individual. You had no idea what time of day or night it was; the only way you could gauge this was by your feedings, which came to you through a slot in the steel door that flops open. The people I am in “the hole” with are the troublemakers of the institution, and many of them mentally probably should not even have been in a traditional prison setting. They kick and beat on the doors all day and night, scream and yell obscenities 24/7 and in general created an environment where you got very little sleep, if any at all. While in “the hole” I read the same book seven times, which was all I had to do. Sixty days I am in this setting. I’m getting skinny and pale, and my strength is being severely tested as I approach the two-month mark. Up to that point I had believed that things happened for a reason, that I could learn from whatever situation came my way. But I have to tell you that as this 60th day comes I am losing my faith quickly. I ask myself why is this happening to me? All I’m trying to do is get an education. All I’m trying to do is better myself; give myself a chance to succeed when released. Why is this happening? And then the only thing that could have made the situation any worse happens. They inform me that they are transferring me to FCI Englewood.

FCI Englewood is the oldest and nastiest prison within the Federal Bureau of Prisons. Built in 1939, it looks live something out of a mid-evil movie. Upon arriving at my new home, I discover the conditions are even worse due to one of the housing units being closed for asbestos removal. When I enter the housing unit I have been assigned to I see that I will be sharing a cubicle with seven other individuals. In Florence it was hard to find one individual you could be compatible with in a small cell, how was I going to find seven? Once again I am asking myself why is this happening to me? I could not imagine spending the next five years in these conditions. Well, things do happen for a reason. I was at FCI Englewood for three months when I hear my name over the intercom, “Evans #24291-013 report to the records office immediately.” When I arrive at the records office I am told to shut the door and sit down. I would later discover that FCI Englewood is the only institution in the entire Federal Bureau of Prisons, the ONLY one that has this policy- they automatically review the sentence computation of every inmate that is transferred into their facility, via another facility. The lady tells me that she just got off the phone with the regional office, they had reviewed my sentence computation and there had been a mistake. I should not have been sentenced to thirteen years, I should have been sentenced to eight and that I was going home in ten days.

If that warden had not taken a dislike to me, if I had not been thrown in “the hole” and if I had not been transferred to FCI Englewood, I would still be sitting in federal prison today. As I write this, I was released a little over four years ago. Things happen for a reason.

Looking back at the doors that were opened to me, the people who took chances on me and the chain of events that unfolded during my incarceration, one thing is perfectly clear: If you are doing the right things, treating others as you would want them to treat you, are fair in your dealings with others and are committed to working hard, I can assure you of one thing: Magical things will happen in your life as well.

For over 15 years, Troy Evans pursued a career as a self-employed addict, drug dealer, gambler and thief. Evans risked his life and sacrificed his family to satisfy his need for money, attention and independence. Ultimately, his disregard of values and discipline resulted in a 13 year Federal Prison sentence. Following a six-month crime spree, which included five armed bank robberies in three states, Evans’ self-destructive lifestyle was brought to an end. He soon found himself within the razor wire and armed confines of the Federal Correctional Complex in Florence, Colorado where his neighbors included such notorious criminals as Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols.

Facing the obstacles, pressures and violence of prison life, Evans was determined that his time behind bars would not be wasted. He chose Education as his saving grace, despite the elimination of Federal Pell Grants for the incarcerated. Undeterred, Evans set out to secure funding on his own through scholarships, grants and foundation assistance. After six months of submitting applications, writing essays, begging, pleading and selling, Evans landed his first scholarship for one class. That was a beginning, and when Evans walked out the doors of prison, he carried with him two degrees, both obtained with a 4.0 GPA and placement on the Dean’s and President’s List.

Since his release, Evans has taken the Corporate, Association and Education speaking platforms by storm. Audiences are stunned by his endurance, accomplishments and remarkable personal transformation. With straightforward, real life examples, Evans shows how the keys to his success in prison are the keys to his success today, and how these lessons can be applied to escaping the “prisons within ourselves”. He renews an appreciation for what is really important in all of our lives and motivates each and every person to overcome adversity, adapt to change, and to realize their full potential.

© Troy D. Evans, 2004

Troy Evans is a professional speaker and author who resides in Phoenix, Arizona with his wife Pam and his dog Archibald. Troy travels the country delivering keynote presentations, and since his release from prison has taken the corporate and association platforms by storm. Overcoming adversity, adapting to change and pushing yourself to realize your full potential. Other speaker’s talk about these issues, Troy has walked them. His recently realeased book, From Desperation to Dedication: An Ex-Con’s Lessons on Turning Failure into Success, is available on his website.

The Evans Group
3104 E. Camelback Road, #436
Phoenix, AZ 85016
602-265-6855
Fax: 602-285-1474
troy@troyevans.com
http://www.troyevans.com

Humans are Much More Honest in the Beginning of the Week!

Sunday, July 15th, 2007

Once I had a friend who was a Los Angeles County Sheriff and he told me that Sunday until about 1:00 pm there was absolutely no crime in the city. Why? Well all the criminals were with their families at church in the morning and then about 1:00 the calls started to come in. These calls got progressively worse as night time approached.

Next within a few days the calls were at the normal crime level until the weekend approached and then the calls went thru the roof and if it was a full-moon they were tripled that week. Why? He had this theory that Biblical Followers were much more Honest in the Beginning of the week!

I have indeed noticed that people who believe in the Biblical Story and use this as their moral foundation tend to be better citizens during the beginning of the week and have slight lapses towards the end of the week. Is that because without being reminded of what is right and wrong they fall short of their integrity goals for themselves?

Is this the moral foundation that Christians and Biblical followers claim and own, as they accuse those of no religion that they are the ones with no moral foundation? Why does someone need to join a religion in order to do what is right? Since when does religion or belief in a god have any thing to do with it? Hmm?

I certainly hope this article is of interest and that is has propelled thought. The goal is simple; to help you in your quest to be the best in 2007. I thank you for reading my many articles on diverse subjects, which interest you.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; www.WorldThinkTank.net/. Lance is a guest writer for Our Spokane Magazine in Spokane, Washington

Interior Decorating With a Touch of Red - Part 2

Wednesday, June 6th, 2007

As a follow-up to the first article entitled, “A Touch of Red Interior Decorating”, I want to provide an update on the interior decorating idea in our great room and also give suggestions for using “a touch of red” in various decorating styles.

The window coverings are finally installed on the series of three windows in the dining area. They consist of four vertical drapery panels made out of wool tapestry-looking fabric. The background is medium tan with subtle red, green and blue flowers. The panels are outlined in a navy/small beige polka-dot fabric. A 6-inch cornice board covered with the same navy fabric completes the look. This window treatment may sound quite “busy” but is very pleasing to the eye.

To complete the “touch of red” look in the dining area and because the wool fabric is somewhat bulky, red tassel tie backs were added to the panels. In addition to the tassel tie backs, red is incorporated in the large picture on the dining room wall, in the table centerpiece and in a red chair cover. Another decorating project completed!

Why use the color, red? Red is the warmest of all colors and symbolizes vitality, energy, action and confidence. It makes a bold statement and is, incidentally, the color most chosen by extroverts.

In feng shui decorating, red is associated with power, love, inspiration and pleasure. Accent colors, such as red, which are more dramatic, are used in moderation, such as a single piece of art work or furniture. The reason is: the more intense the color, the less of it is needed for it to be effective. Thus, use lighter colors for larger areas with accents in more vibrant, dramatic colors.

How can you use red décor and red accents in your interior decorating ideas? Here are a few suggestions:

*Rustic Decorating Style – Red, green and black plaid work very well as accents.

*Modern Decorating Style – A splash of bright red works well with basic and cool colors.

*Oriental Decorating Style – Think of using those luscious silk prints.

*Shabby Chic Decorating Style – Use red as an accent to contrast with the white shabby chic.

*Art Deco Decorating Style – Red is a vibrant and energetic color for this style.

*French Country Decorating Style – Use red to build on the rooster collections of this style.

*Cottage Decorating Style – Red is a great accent in cotton fabrics for cottage decorating.

*Mediterranean Decorating Style – Make use of red accessorized with blue and gold.

Be creative and have fun decorating with “a touch of red!” Your home will be the envy of the neighborhood.

You will find a variety of best price home décor including red-accented décor at http://www.lynnshomedecor.com. Additional home interior decorating ideas can be found at http://www.decorating-info.com.

Holistic Nursing

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007

Find Holistic Nursing Programs in the United States and Canada. Holistic nursing programs are intended for individuals who have already graduated from a Nationally Accredited baccalaureate nursing program, and who possess an active RN license from the state in which they practice. Holistic nursing programs combine the knowledge and skills from conventional nursing with holistic medicine.

Students who are interested in holistic nursing programs will quickly learn that holistic nurses address the patient as a “whole” being and not just the disease. Holistic nursing programs teach candidates how to integrate complementary and alternative medicine and how to administrate individualized care and treatment to patients. In addition, holistic nursing programs instruct future holistic nurses in how to provide undivided attention by consciously “being with” the patient on an emotional and psychological level throughout the course of prescribed treatment.

Holistic nursing programs also teach students how to facilitate and administer self-healing methods. Through the course of the holistic nursing program study, practitioners will begin to understand and promote self-awareness, and preventive healthcare. Holistic nursing programs will also delve into compassionate healing techniques that surround the use of acupressure, aromatherapy, herbology, hypnosis, guided imagery, Chinese Medicine, Reiki, healing touch and other empathetic healing modalities. Students will find that holistic nursing programs enhance nursing techniques, and aid in the comfort of both inpatients and outpatients as a complementary or integrative medicine.

Some courses that may be included in holistic nursing programs are theories in holistic nursing, pathophysiology, stress management, pharmacology, and other integrative and complementary medicine theories and practices. Practicing nurses who are seeking to expand and enhance their nursing careers will find that enrolling in one of several holistic nursing programs will not only help them professionally, but personally as well.

If you are interested in gaining certification through one of many holistic nursing programs or simply wish to learn more about this humane healthcare service, feel free to browse our site for schools that offer this and other healing arts programs.

Find your dream job! Let education within fast-growing industries like massage therapy, holistic medicine, acupuncture, oriental medicine, Reiki, and others get you started! Explore career school programs near you.

Holistic Nursing
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Resource Box: CarolAnn Bailey-Lloyd - Freelance Writer and Web Consultant for HolisticJunction.com, in association with CollegeSurfing.com - Educational Resources for Healing Arts Schools, Holistic Nursing Programs, and other Alternative Medicine Schools.

The Benefits of Simplicity

Sunday, June 3rd, 2007

In Modern Life there are a seemingly endless series of options and avenues. At each turn, life seems to present numerous complications. It becomes hard to resist the allure of doing more things and trying to solve a myriad of problems. However, often we are consciously or unconsciously yearning for a more simple approach to life. If we can make an effort to bring more simplicity into our lives, we will find many benefits arise.

Peace of Mind. Simplicity doesn’t necessarily involve living in a Spartan hut. Real simplicity begins in the mind. If we have numerous anxieties and problems it is not possible to have peace of mind. Simplicity means we learn to clear the mind and not allow ourselves to be bombarded by an endless stream of needless thoughts.

Living in the present. Complication in life arises because often we are worrying and planning about the future. We can become so concerned about what may happen tomorrow or next year that we forget to enjoy the present moment. To have one’s focus on the here and now, is to encompass life as it is supposed to be. As Sri Chinmoy says: “Simplicity is our natural or conscious awareness of reality.”

When we complicate life through our endless planning we bring tomorrow’s problems into today. Yet it is always worth remembering that our worries and fears about the future often prove to be groundless.

Avoid Judgement. It is part of human nature to criticise and judge other people. It is very easy to make a long list of complaints and suggestions about other people. But does it help us when we highlight the faults of others? We should feel that we are not responsible for other people’s thoughts and behaviour. If we feel it is our bounden duty to change others, there can be no simplicity and peace in our life. Rather than try to change others, let us just try to focus on changing ourselves. Our own weaknesses are probably more than enough to deal with.

Simplicity enables more to be achieved. Simplicity means that we are focused on one thing at a time. Simplicity means we can put all our concentration on just one thing. If we perform an action with no distractions then we can fulfil it quicker and more successfully. Often when we simplify our life we find we can actually achieve more than when we juggled several things at once.

“The simpler we can become, the sooner we shall reach our destination. A life of simplicity is a life of constant progress. It is in simplicity that we can make the fastest progress, progress which is everlasting.”

Simplicity and Beauty. Simplicity is often synonymous with beauty. For example, Zen gardens are at once simple, yet in that simplicity there is a beauty, which appeals to our soul. It is the same with Mother Nature; the essence of nature is its unspoilt beauty. Has man ever been able to improve on the beauty and simplicity of nature?

Be Happy with what we have. As George Bernard Shaw aptly said “There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart’s desire; the other is to get it.” The nature of desire is that the more we get the more we want. When we get a new car, often after a while we are not satisfied and want to get something better. However real happiness comes when we are content with what we have and are free of desire.

Richard practices and teaches Meditation classes in his home town of Oxford. He writes on issues of spirituality and self development and contributes to a website on Spirituality. He is a meditation student of Sri Chinmoy http://www.srichinmoybio.co.uk/

The Media Influences On Eating Disorders

Saturday, June 2nd, 2007

The media influence’s on eating disorders is sadly an occurrence in our lives that effect our daily lives and it can only be hoped that it changed over time and counter balanced by family and the persons affected by eating disorders.

Body image is one of the primary reasons for eating disorder is the media influence’s on eating disorders, the TV shows and movies that we watch, as well as the magazines and newspapers that we read, continually bombard us with pictures and images of beauty that is not only a manufactured “picture” of beauty, it’s a very unhealthy picture of beauty.

With all of the media influence’s on eating disorders not only are the pictures that we seen in all the advertising touched up so as to get rid of the imperfections of the model, but the models are often painfully and un healthfully skinny.

A factors in the lives, and our raising, of our children is that the television in our household has taken on the role of a babysitter, a way to spend time, or even a place to provide role models.

Our children are very susceptible to peer pressure, both from their friends and the movies, or T. V. that they watch, and eating disorders often occur during, or stem from the way they grew up during, their childhood.

The average female model, that are the the media influence’s on eating disorders seen in printed advertisements, T. V. or movie advertisement, has a body weight that is nearly twenty to twenty five percent less than her ideal body weight.

When that is added to the fact that plastic surgery is often undertaken by these models, and the photos that are taken of them are often airbrushed to eliminate flaws, a standard of beauty that is presented to us is unattainable to the vast majority of persons.

We are continuously exposed to these the media influence’s on eating disorders with these messages of unrealistic beauty, as the average person is expected to see between four and six hundred advertisements per day.

Out of these advertisements, more than one in ten are based on a beauty product that will feature a model.

School can prove to be a significant source of pressure when it comes to self image, and when coupled with the messages sent to us by the media, it’s no wonder that eating disorders pervade our culture.

Our children have the unique problem of being both impressionable and cruel, and when someone is teased about the appearance of their body, the likelihood of an eating disorder may become more and more evident.

While you may think that eating disorders aren’t altogether present in our culture on a large scale, you may be shocked to hear the findings of studies. One showed that a full nearly fifteen percent of college-aged girls has a problem with bulimia, and more than one percent are considered anorexic.

These problems clearly aren’t going away, and in order to be treated, psycho-therapy is often necessary. The problems are rooted deeply on the psychological level, and counseling and therapy are often the only solutions when one is afflicted with an eating disorder.

Almost ten percent people suffering from eating disorders will eventually die due to the damage to their body as a result of their eating disorder. To that end, eating disorders are a serious health problem affecting us today and they need to be seriously examined.

The media influence’s on eating disorders should be more responsible when it comes to the images that are placed upon our impressionable children.

If you find yourself or anyone around you suffering from an eating disorder and want to be aware of the serious consequences of eating disorders, click on over to Mike Herman’s site http://www.4HealthConcerns.com/EatingDisorders to get my newsletter and free ebook in regards to eating disorders

Criminal Rehabilitation - Working Towards A Better Life For Inmates And Their Families

Tuesday, May 8th, 2007

Criminal rehabilitation is gaining popularity among many who are forward thinking. Such forms of rehabilitation can help to reduce the number of repeat offenders who return to jail after being unable to adapt to life outside of jail. This can also help to solve some of the more serious cases, such as sexual offenders who may continue in their ways after being released, preying on women or children.

Criminal rehabilitation can help to solve the problem of overcrowding in most prisons. The criminal population continues growing, as the death penalty has been abolished, and the state would need to spend more on facilities to house criminals.

There are statistics showing that only 35 percent of inmates do not make their way back to prison upon their release. This leaves us with a large percentage of released criminals who do commit crimes and end up being repeat offenders. This poses a major difficulty to society as well as a strain. The government has to fork out huge sums to keep tabs on these possible repeat offenders as well as maintaining the prison systems. Needless to say, the possibility of releasing prisoners who might be repeat offenders is a threat to social safety.

However, the scenario does have a light at the end of the tunnel. There seems to be a good reason why some former inmates do not return to jail: it appears that their time in incarceration was spent productively, changing some vital aspect of their personality.

Education is one of the ways in which this positive change was affected. Education works in two levels to successfully rehabilitate the criminal. On a macro level, society as a whole is being educated to promote the importance of keeping the laws as well as ensuring that there is less discrimination against former criminals. This ensures that there propensity for ex-convicts to return to a life of crime is less, as they are able to secure jobs after their release. Education is also being offered within the prison to allow the prisoners to upgrade and stay relevant to the changing society outside the prison walls.

In criminal rehabilitation, prisoners are given opportunity to increase their content knowledge base. This is essential as studies show that many inmates do not have basic grade school education. This would severely impede their success of acquiring jobs, thus many had to turn to a life of crime. Basic criminal rehabilitation programs ensure that there is a standard level of literacy amongst the inmates who sign up for the course.

Rehabilitation also ensures that inmates are socially well adjusted. Psychological assessments are being meted to test for mental or physical disabilities that led to their incarceration in the first place. Should the inmates be ready and willing to accept counseling and assessment, many of them are able to return to society as relatively well-balanced individuals. For drug addicts, this is a pertinent issue, as many of them are struggling with addiction problems. Counseling would help to balance inner dynamics that led to the addiction, and possibly the criminal behavior that financed the addiction.

Criminal rehabilitation has many positive benefits and can impact the lives of many inmates as well as their families. It can help with wider social issues as well, such as reducing discrimination and stigma.

Moses Wright is the founder of Rehabilitation Program. He provides more useful information on Drug Addiction Rehabilitation and Physical Rehabilitation Therapy on his website. Webmasters are welcome to reprint this article if you keep the content and live link intact.

SMART Team Performance

Saturday, April 28th, 2007

Teams want improved performance, but great performance can’t be imposed. It has to arise from within the people who are creating it. It has to be inspired rather than imposed. A great jazz performance offers some interesting insights into inspiring great performance in the workplace.Great performance, in both jazz and the workplace, is SMART. We play with this acronym in variety of ways at Jazzthink. The words we’ve come up with are Soulful, Mindful, Astute, Responsible, and Trusting. With respect to team performance, here’s one of our improvisations on this set of ideas.

Soulful

Great performance arises from the core passions and purposes that lie at the heart of a person’s unique brilliance. Jazz musicians talk of great performance coming from the soul. Their performance arises from their unique talents are aligned with their passions and purposes.

Mindful

Every great performance requires both mental focus and mental flexibility - focus because we really can’t do several things at once and flexibility because we need to be able to adapt to changing circumstances. Mental focus and flexibility remain in creative tension throughout the performance.

Astute

Great performance requires astute emotional intelligence. It requires the ability to stay positively connected with ourselves and others. Emotional energy can easily become negative, drained by anger, fear, frustration, and hopelessness. It can create a toxic group and dysfunctional organizations. But we can choose to define ourselves differently, to show up with positive emotional energy, charged with hope, passion, challenge, and joy.

Responsible

Responsibility relates to the physical dimension of performance. Our bodies are the vehicles for expressing our purpose, living out our ideas, indicating our connection with others, and getting beneficial things done. Our performance flows through every fiber of our beings. Knowing how to manage our physical energy – building our capacity to get things done – is essential to great performance.

Trusting

We achieve great performances, in both jazz and teams, when all our energies - spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical - are aligned and working together. To get to the place where we can trust that to happen, we must practice. We must learn the skills, traditions, conventions, and structures within which we perform. We must build our confidence by testing our limits and pushing beyond them. In the process, we learn to trust it all to work together.

Brian Fraser is the Lead Provocateur of Jazzthink Speaking and Seminars. He uses jazz as a way of helping people see their work differently. His clients say they are engaged, entertained, and enlightened by his presentations and writings. They are inspired to play above their current levels of performance. He can be reached at http://www.jazzthink.com

Crime – Guilty or Not Guilty?

Sunday, April 8th, 2007

The State enforce law and order and expect the citizens to conform to behavioral norms and punish those who commit offenses. Police department makes sure the laws are implemented.

The judiciary system adjudicate guilt or innocence, when a criminal is arrested. The truth is extracted from the open contest between the defense and prosecution. The judge is a neutral referee and the arbiter of the law. He burden of proof lies with the prosecution. In all fairness the defendant is presumed to be innocent until his guilt is established. The benefit of doubt acts in favour of the defendant.

A wealthy defendant can afford the best lawyers and best legal services and he keeps fighting until he reaches the highest seat of justice. Where as a poorer defendant succumb to his fate and give up early. His resources do not permit him to seek better legal services.
The rich criminal has a better chance of escaping from certain punishment. And a poorer defendant gets punished even if he is innocent. He may have been framed. But his resources are not in his favour. He may not get a second chance. His life is doomed. An impartial and exhaustive investigation is what is needed here. The fact gathering process should be perfected.

The examining magistrate directs the proceedings. The witnesses are questioned, the suspects are interrogated. The legal arguments and interpretations establish the facts and the evidences emerged help the process of justice.

The convicted person will chose not to break the law again in future. The court proceedings will be watched and remembered by every person in the society.

Best, Real, Politics, Discussion - “President Polls 2012″.