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It is quite obvious to witness an individual who is always looking at other than the right way to seek for total happiness. The right way is, there is no other way to total happiness, and total happiness is the only way.

That means, total happiness is growing inside each individual, and there, is the starting point for the individual to expand and extend this wonderful feeling, glowing outside himself or herself.

Even after knowing this vital and valuable information, there is still an individual continuously seeking for total happiness, elsewhere, everywhere, anywhere, no where, or other places as a way that is away from the correct way to total happiness.

While total happiness is readily available inside this individual, he or she is still facing in other directions outside, farther from the chance of obtaining genuine total happiness.

While seeking for total happiness, this individual attempts to strive. His or her opinion is that striving seems a sure way to obtain true total happiness. That means, the individual striving for total happiness requires any, a combination, or all of these: an immense quantum leap forward, a really hard work, a large amount of energy, a powerful pervasive force, and a strong struggling movement, or some efforts that are more difficult than these.

Yet, all these are unnecessary. The facts remain that an individual can obtain total happiness, instantly and immediately, now and here, at will, by simply making a decision to be totally happy, thus opting to choose total happiness, as a natural preference in this life.

Foregoing this fact, and instead pursuing for a fiction or a falsehood, this individual begins to wonder as a wanderer in this life by asking why is it so hard to achieve total happiness, especially at the times when this feeling is needed the most? After which, his or her pursuit consists of more struggles to seek for total happiness at various places, where total happiness does not exists nor being presence.

It is then extremely hard for this individual to achieve total happiness, because realize it or not, this individual is:
01) On the wrong path where total happiness is not available,
02) Feels like he or she must first climb a virtual or real mountain before actually achieving total happiness,
03) Moving on the correct path but become preoccupied on some other irrelevant activities, truly out of focus,
04) Just like wanting to be at a port in the mainland but he or she simply proceed into the sea during violent storms and against a clear vibrant tsunami.

In the end, this is the individual who feels he or she cannot obtain total happiness, because instead of being in charge of him self or her self, the individual lives a life in accordance to the swings of his or her incessant and spontaneous moods. This is an accepted impossibility.

The individual knows that there is a power within him or her. In addition he or she knows the possibility of accomplishing any goal toward total happiness, yet he or she does not proceed to know the door to total happiness. Yes, there is no other door to total happiness, and total happiness is the only door.

Even after knowing this information, and being the key holder to the door toward total happiness, yet the individual does not even begin to move and easily opening the door.

Yes, the individual knows the benefits of total happiness to him or her in this precious life. Be totally happy and being in total happiness first, then enjoys the benefits as the inevitable outcome of such a wonderful feeling. Yet the individual does not decide to be totally happy nor being in total happiness first.

Instead the individual proceeds to seek elsewhere, no where, anywhere, and everywhere for total happiness. Therefore, ultimately the individual becomes tired of searching and researching, despite total happiness is always available, always here, within the sanubari in his or her own heart.

This individual is seen in his or her attempts to obtain total happiness by doing exercises, trying to improve his or her mood swings, pretend to attain certain pleasure by eating chocolate, or even listening to music, or establishing a new friendship, pursuing to falling in love again, or joining an association, trying to developing a new hobby, or learning a new skill, go out of the way in helping others to find happiness that he or she cannot even find it himself or herself, and stoop low in faking a smile, or project a laughter, with the thinking that by doing so first, he or she can achieve authentic total happiness.

The facts remain that total happiness is independent. Yes, total happiness is not dependent upon a subject or an individual; an object or a position; a context that includes a circumstances, a condition, an event, a happenstance, or a situation.

For as long as this individual is seeking total happiness by doing some activities to obtain it, he or she can never obtain it.

Should an individual hajat for total happiness, then he or she can obtain total happiness, instantly and immediately, by willing to make a decision to be totally happy, and being in total happiness, now and here. In fact he or she is able to sustain total happiness by opting to choose it, as a natural preference throughout his or her life.

Zubli Zainordin is a professional public communicator. An established author in Malaysia, who has published 4 books in his native language. He is presently authoring - the wisdom of total happiness - for the English speaking market.

Zubli Zainordin is an Expert Ezine@rticles Author. Also, a consultant for the national book authoring project. Zubli Zainordin earned a M. Sc. in Communication - Radio/Television/Film from Indiana State University (Terre Haute, Indiana, USA), Diploma in Mass Communication from University Technology MARA, and Diploma in Translation - Technical and Science, from the National Translation Institute.

As a thinker, Zubli Zainordin shares a unique view so that you may prefer to review your inner and outer self, then shall you preview your entire life with a total view. You shall want to benefit from his special approach to subjects pertaining to total life and total success. He is recognized as a pioneer, the arts and science of total success. He has prepared: Who am I? - the answer to ultimately know you - a free special report for you. Let’s communicate.

Would you believe me if I told you that you can have anything you dream of? Everything that you thought was impossible would be possible to achieve or acquire.

Do you know that you have control and power to form, change and live the life you want?

We all know that life is filled with trials and tribulations. In fact, the Bible says in John 16:33, you will
have tribulation. Also in Romans 8:36, it says that we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. From the poorest to the wealthiest person on the earth, we all have issues. No one is excluded from this.

The majority of us get caught up in what’s going on around us that we forget that we have power to change our circumstances. We have power in our words and our thoughts. What you say and what you think will eventually happen.

Words are very powerful. There is only a few that use their power to achieve success and happiness. We were born into a world of sin, violence and destruction. We are natural born sinners. We were aso born conquerors. In fact, we are more than conquerors. Roman 8:37

I know right now you are asking, What is the Secret to great health, wealth and ultimate happiness?

The secret is everything you have read already. Your words and your thoughts are the secrets to have everything you have dreamed of. Stay with me and keep reading while I explain how this will change your life forever.

Think on this for a minute. We all know that God created the world though some may beg to differ. But anyway, God created the world and in doing so how did he make the world? It wasn’t with his hands. He spoke and it was done. Read Genesis 1:3,6,9,11,14,20,24

If you read Genesis 1:26-28, you will discover that we was given the gift of power. We were made in the likeness and image of God the almighty. When he made the world, he spoke it. So if we were made just like God, we can create our life the way that we want simply by speaking it. But it takes more than just that.

You have to believe that it is already done and connect it with a feeling that you already have it. Your words and your feelings have to connect in order for it to transform into reality. And it has to be a continued process. You need to do this everyday.

You also need to be careful of what you say and think. You attract into your life whatever it is you say like, “I’m always broke” or “Nothing ever seems to go right” or “Every time I get money something always comes up”. You get the picture.

Another important thing is to be thankful for what you have. So think and say everything that you want, connect that feeling that you already have it and be thankful for what you already have and watch your life change forever.

This will also change you as well.

How?

Think about it.

You will always think positive things. Nothing or no one will ever worry you. You will always be happy. You will find yourself treating people with love and kindness. You will be surrounded with everything good.

If you believe that God gave you the power to get wealth as stated in Deuteronomy 8:18 in the Bible then go to http://www.buildingsuccessfulwebsites.com/get_wealth.html

“The present is where our miracles are made. Our only control is in today, not in the past.” Those are the words of leading mediator and businesswoman extraordinaire, Sue Dyer. “ We have to close out the past,” she said, and set forth how to do just that.

In the interview we did with her, Sue told the importance of releasing yesterday and focusing on today. “The present is the only time you can live or have true Joy,” she advises. “To live in the present we must not let our minds go to the past.” She does that as part of her morning ritual in which she sets her intentions for the day, and vows to close the curtain on the past. Years ago the near death of her infant daughter taught her to live in the present. The only way Sue could keep going and retain composure was to set the egg timer for 5 minutes, and live in those contained 5 minutes. She suggests we also set a timer, and train ourselves to stay in the now for that period.

“Use words in the present tense,” she recommends. “You have no power when using past tense or thinking of the past,” she says. She also recommends using tools to remind you are in the present. For some it’s music, or writing, or talking with a particular person – something you know causes you to be in the present, remembering that it’s only there that you’ll find true joy and be able to manifest.

3 SECOND FOCUS TIP – DETERMINE NOW that you will stay n the present, no matter what pressing issues face you today. Today practice creating your own miracle by staying in the present more than you EVER have before. By doing this you will stay in your power! Remember Sue’s words: “The present is where our miracles are made.” Review your day as you fall off to sleep tonight and consider the goodness of each event that you manifested.

This article is written by Christine Harvey, co-founder of http://www.WomenforWealth.com, Empowering Women Financially to Impact the World Globally’ through Education and Inspiration. Christine Harvey is the author of 6 leadership books sold in 25 languages, including ‘Your Pursuit of Profit,’ ‘Secrets of the World’s Top Sales Performers’ and ‘Can a Girl Run for President?’

Relationships – though it sometimes seems like we can’t live with ‘em, I doubt we’d want to live without ‘em. With their vast range of emotions, they provide the delicious texture and color of our lives. Whether they’re providing a little too much “color,” however, or not enough, there isn’t any relationship that can’t be improved with the infusion of the three C’s: compassion, communication and curiosity.

Nothing Personal
So much of the pain and friction in relationships comes from taking things personally. Sure, it’s hard not to feel the sting from a rude or critical comment. But, in fact, while someone’s behavior may have been triggered by your words or actions, it is fundamentally a reflection of their own perceptions, beliefs and state of mind – not any kind of definitive statement about who you are.

Have you ever made a sarcastic comment to someone who thought it was wildly funny, and then said made a similar remark to someone else who was deeply offended? Or how about a man who customarily opens the car door for his date – on one occasion, the woman appreciates the gesture; with another woman, he is lambasted for being patriarchal or sexist and told she can open her own door, thank you very much. Same action, different response. Which one should he take personally?!

This is not to say that you shouldn’t maintain boundaries and inform someone when their behavior is inappropriate or hurtful, or take responsibility for your own actions. Still, there’s no need to create emotional pain – or spend hours seething over a perceived insult – by interpreting someone’s words or actions as a declaration of your worth.

Communicate, Communicate
What article about relationships would be complete without discussing the importance of communication? It truly is the linchpin to deep understanding and intimacy, but your communication style can make the difference between strengthening – or derailing – your connection.

• What’s their story? Remember that radical concept: people are different. Be careful not to assume you know exactly what someone is feeling or why they reacted the way they did. Everyone has a story based on their past experience, references and how they see the world – before you jump to conclusions or discount seemingly irrational behavior, why not try to find out what’s behind it?

In their book Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most, authors Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen cite the example of Rory and her stubborn Great Aunt Bertha who sleeps on a sagging old mattress despite terrible back problems. “No matter what I say,” says Rory, “she refuses to let me buy her a new mattress. Everyone in the family tells me Aunt Bertha is just crazy, you can’t reason with her. I guess it’s true.”

Aunt Bertha is the first to agree that her mattress is old and battered. “It’s the one I shared with my husband for forty years, and it makes me feel safe,” she says. “There are so many other changes in my life, it’s nice to have a little haven that stays the same.” Ah, not so irrational after all, is it.

Here, explain the authors, is where curiosity comes in. Instead of saying, “How can they think that?!” ask yourself, “I wonder what information they have that I don’t?” Instead of asking, “How can they be so irrational?” ask, “How might they see the world such that their view makes sense?” Certainty that you’re right shuts down possibility; curiosity opens it up.

• Be self-centered. On the flip side, when it’s time to tell your story, make sure it is from your point of view. My wise friend, Marion, has a proven recipe for this. Here, in her words:

Instead of tossing out accusations and criticism (“How come you never…?” “Why are you so…?”), use “I” statements to tell someone what you feel. Start your conversation with “I’m feeling _____(disconnected, envious, angry), and I know that you _____ (have a lot of challenges right now, may be feeling overwhelmed, are trying so hard, or any other positive affirmation).

And then you wait. As long as it takes for them to process what you’ve said. More than likely they will appreciate that the burden is not on them to “fix” what’s wrong, and be open to discussing a compromise.

Shift Your Focus
Have you ever found yourself increasingly irritated with someone – a colleague, say, who you have pleasant chats with by the snack machine but now that you are on a cross-country business trip together strikes you as a mass of annoying tics and mannerisms that would have driven even Mother Theresa nuts?

Okay, let’s say you are justified in your irritation. But is that where you want to be, how you want to feel? It’s your choice. Because just as you subconsciously instructed your brain to collect data on your colleague’s every maddening quirk, you can consciously shift your attention to discern and acknowledge his positive traits, tenuous as they may be (“Bill really is generous in sharing his snacks.”).

As philosopher William James said: “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” Why not appreciate that each of us is doing the best we know how? This will translate into gratitude, which, you’ll admit, feels better than simmering in annoyance. And who knows, your colleague’s constant chatter may be the gift of gab that gets you on an overbooked flight.

It’s All About You
So often in relationships, we become focused on the other person. What are they thinking? What do they expect, what do they want? What if instead we viewed each relationship as an opportunity to conceive of and create the kind of person we want to be. It wouldn’t matter, then, what others are doing, thinking, planning. It would only matter what we are in relationship to that.

Paradoxically, by becoming self-centered – using each interaction as an opportunity to create yourself as you want to be – you will likely receive the love and respect you desire. And if you don’t, well it’s not personal!

Renita T. Kalhorn is a personal performance coach who specializes in helping entrepreneurs and executives find their personal “tipping point.” Subscribe to In The Flow, her FREE monthly newsletter and receive a FREE Special Report, Get Your Flow On! 21 Simple Techniques to Banish Tedium, Reduce Stress and Inspire Action at http://www.intheflowcoaching.com

In this harried era of electronic banking and laser surgery, it seems fair to say that nearly all of us are living life in the fast lane. We love our fast food, speed dial, and instant messaging. Today’s news is yesterday’s news before the sun sets. We are addicted to speed and if we knew we could get away with it, we’d put the peddle to the metal and drive as fast as the wind blows.

It should come as no surprise then, that you need not wait for the ripe old age of forty-five to experience a midlife crisis. I’ve noticed that many twenty-somethings are already intimately familiar with the phenomenon Wikipedia (free online encyclopedia) defines as “an emotional state of doubt and anxiety in which a person becomes uncomfortable with the realization that life is halfway over. It commonly involves reflection on what the individual has done with his or her life up to that point, often with feelings that not enough was accomplished. The individuals experiencing such may feel boredom with their lives, jobs, or their partners, and may feel a strong desire to make changes in these areas.”

I don’t see this as a bad thing. Many young people are already deep into the process of examining what life means to them and how they can move gracefully onto the path meant for them. They are not waiting until they are “midlife” to have their midlife crisis. They are much faster than their predecessors at grasping information and knowing what to do with it.

And yet, satisfyingly enough, the process is the same for them—no one gets to skip any of the evolution steps. Granted, the younger generation may be evolving at a faster rate, but in order to gain the wisdom they seek they must go through their fitful bouts of doubt and angst just the same as the rest of us. They must question everything they thought they knew and come up with their own answers. They must feel that first uncomfortable, unexplainable nudge that becomes an unrelenting restlessness that can’t help but to make them listen to the inner voice that wonders is this really my destiny? Is this really all I can do for the planet and humankind?

I am encouraged. Their waking pain will be the earth’s gain. And maybe, just maybe, they will evolve at a pace fast enough to save the world.

Copyright 2007 – Mary M. Bauer. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Mary M. Bauer is the author of five books, including The Truth About You: Things You Don’t Know You Know (VanderWyk & Burnham, 2006). Visit http://marymbauer.com

Your happiness should be the number one goal in your life. Whether or not something makes you happy should be the primary organizing principle of everything you do. It should be the standard by which you measure every choice and decision.

Your ability to achieve your true happiness is the measure of how well you are really doing as a human being, and everything else should be subordinated to this key objective.

From Aristotle in 34 BC through the modern thinkers, speakers and writers of today, the key to happiness has been the same. It is the same for virtually all men and women, in all countries and situations and in all walks of life.

The key to happiness is this: dedicate yourself to the development of your natural talents and abilities by doing what you love to do, and doing it better and better, in the service of a cause that is greater than yourself.

This is a big statement and a big commitment. Being happy requires that you define your life in your own terms and then throw you whole heart into living your life to the fullest. In a way, happiness requires that you be perfectly selfish with yourself in the beginning so that you can be unselfish with others throughout your life.

Your happiness depends on your ability to please at least yourself at all times. You can only be happy when you are living your life in the very best way possible. No one can define happiness for you. Only you know what makes you happy. Just as you cannot make someone else happy, no one else can make you happy. Happiness is an inside job.

Many people fool themselves into thinking that they will give up their own personal happiness in order to make someone else happy, usually members of their family, but this way of thinking is completely confused.

You can’t reap what you haven’t sown. Just as you cannot make someone else healthy by being sick, you cannot make someone else happy by being unhappy. People who allow themselves to think that they are being unhappy so that others can be happy are deluding themselves. They are rationalizing their own dissatisfaction by somehow pretending that it is noble to be miserable.

The starting point for enjoying happiness is for you to first accept that you deserve all the happiness you can honestly attain through your own efforts and the application of your special talents and abilities.

There is a direct correlation between happiness and your level of self esteem. The more you like and respect yourself, the more deserving you will feel of the good things in life. The more deserving you feel, the more likely it will be that you will attain and hold on to the happiness you are working toward.

When happiness becomes the organizing principle in your life, you can then compare every possible action, choice and decision against the standard of happiness you desire to see whether it would make you more or less happy.

By using this standard, you will find that almost all of the problems in your life come from choices that you have made, or are currently making, that do not contribute to your happiness. When you develop sufficient character and will power to set your happiness as our highest standard, you will probably never make another mistake.

Of course, there are countless times when you will have to do little things that don’t make you happy so that you can enjoy larger things that make you very happy. This is called paying the price for success in advance.

You must pay your dues in advance. Sometimes these interim steps or means to success and happiness you desire don’t make you happy directly, but the happiness you achieve from attaining your goals is so great that it overwhelms and wipes away the temporary inconveniences and distractions you had to endure in order to get there.

Since you can’t be truly happy, until you are clear about your inherent possibilities, it’s very important that you take some time on a regular basis to analyze yourself and identify your strengths and weaknesses. There is an old saying that, “Success leaves tracks.” What this means is that you can often look back on your life, and look around you today, to identify who you really are and what you should be doing with your life.

Everyone has an area of excellence. Everyone has something that he or she can do in an outstanding way. It may take weeks, months and even years for you to develop yourself in an extraordinary fashion, but the indications will be there because of a natural tendency to be attracted to the sort of activity we are excellent in.

You probably know already what this area of excellence is because you like to read about it, talk about and think about it. You most likely admire people who are already outstanding in this area. That area of activity, the area where you can become excellent, is probably what you were put on this earth to do.

Your area of excellence, your area of talent and ability, your heart’s desire, will involve doing something that somehow uplifts and enhances the life or work of other people. You can never be really happy until you know that what you are doing is making a difference in the world. The key to happiness is to know in your heart that you are making a contribution to the lives of other people.

You have the capacity to live a life filled with greater joy, satisfaction and happiness than you have ever imagined. There are no limitations except the ones that you put on yourself by your own thinking. You were put on this earth with a special purpose, programmed with unique talents and abilities that have not yet been fully tapped and utilized.

Happiness is an inside job, it’s up to you. Know one else can make you happy if you can’t first please yourself. When you focus all your energies on becoming the very best person you can possibly be in service to others, you open the door to happiness.

Copyright©2007 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and success coaching programs. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in career coach training. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many businesses around the world, on the subjects of leadership, achievement, goals, strategic business planning, and marketing. Joe is the author of three books, Starting Your Own Business, Finding Your Purpose In Life, and The Guerrilla Marketing Workbook.